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The black desert sky became a canvas for brush strokes of glittering stars on a moonless night. Awe and wonder filled me and I became overwhelmed by the vast space of a universe in which I played a small role. The warmth of the campfire drew my gaze down as I watched my world visit, laugh, and play into the night.

Soon sleep beckoned us. And one by one we each took our place in the tiny, whimsical cabin. Darkness soaked into every crevice of our dwelling. Complete silence was interrupted only by the sound of the house fan pulling in the cool desert air. Rest was my hope—but not my reality.

“You are NOT stellar.”

What started as a whisper grew to a shout. The phrase became a perpetual cadence in my head. It traveled in circles through the places of my mind and dared to take root in my heart. I wasn’t sure I even knew what stellar meant—deep down I knew it was good. But someone believed I wasn’t.

That someone—was me.

This insanity kept my mind racing, my eyes open, and my heart fighting with the true Voice. Why did God insist on interrupting? Was He not aware of the areas I lacked? Did He not remember where I was deficient? Why would He challenge what I knew to be true?

“Lord, stop telling me I am stellar—when I know I am not.”

Just as the light of dawn peeked through the windows, fatigue from the battle hit, and I surrendered to my body’s plea for slumber. I could rest in one thing—I was not stellar. Apparently, I had won this battle with God.

Couple hours later I woke exhausted. Memories of the night lingered in a strange haze. What was stellar? Breakfast was put off for an important quest.—a dictionary.

Stellar  \ste-lar\  (adj) Like a star, as in brilliance and shape. Outstanding.

My eyes skimmed over the star definition to the one that made sense. Outstanding? No. I still didn’t believe I was outstanding. Even more, I couldn’t believe I lost a whole night’s sleep over it.

“Lord, I don’t understand.”

The memory of the starry sky and a verse collided in one moment.

He calls each star by name. Psalm 147:4

“Lord, I still don’t get it.”

~

Beloved, you ARE stellar—like a star in brilliance and shape.

I have called you by name to shine and sparkle in this world.

Everything I made is outstanding—including you.

It’s not because of anything you do or will do—it’s My identity within you.

You ARE stellar.

Believe Me above all others—you, Beloved, are my brilliant star.

~

I get it now.

Do you?

What lies are you believing?

On the journey with you ~L

{This post was originally posted under the title Stellar on June 29, 2011}

*I love reading about your personal journey. I read every comment and respond to  as  many as I can. Here or somewhere…be real. Share your journey. ~Laura

Relevant Worship

You Know Me by Bethel Music featuring Steffany Frizzell

Indescribable by Chris Tomlin

Who Am I? by Casting Crowns

Reflective Scripture

That you may show yourselves to be blameless and guiltless, innocent and uncontaminated, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and wicked generation among whom you are seen as bright lights, stars, or beacons shining out clearly in the dark world. Philippians 2:15 Amplified

He counts the stars and calls them all by name. Psalm 147:4 NLT

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