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{The following is an unedited entry from my private journal dated January 17, 2012. When it comes to writing the mess to heal the heart—no edits are necessary}

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It hits my heart. No—it hits my soul every morning.



What is it I long for?

Why the wanting is aching in my very being?

If I am wanting…

Is it because I am lacking?

And what am I without?


Always Him.

Why did He have to leave…when I need Him now?

Why did she get to look into His eyes,

And He touched her face. Cupped it in His hands. And looked deeply through her eyes into her very soul.

She could see Him. Feel Him. Cling to Him.

Oh how I long to cling to Him.

To see Him with my own eyes, to feel the caress of His hands on my face.

Lord, I know You left a gift—Holy Spirit. But I need You.

I need You Jesus. To hold me. I feel as though my soul is crumbling into a thousand pieces and only this skin wrapped around me is keeping it from bursting with heartache.

And yet it is this very flesh wrapped so tightly around me that imprisons my soul—I can not escape—my soul is not freed to be at rest and live without the prison of bondage.

Oh God…

I am wanting…


To hold me together.

To keep me from crumbling—



Bleeding on others.

She at least could touch You. She could feel the hem of Your robe between her fingers.

Oh Lord if I can’t see Your eyes today…

If I can’t feel the touch of your hands wiping the tears away…

Can I please just touch Your robe…

Please, Lord.

It’s all I ask.


On the journey with you,


What are you longing for today?

Here or somewhere…be real. Share your journey.

*Hello dear friend~ Is it time for you to start writing your mess, to heal your heart? Click here to learn more about my upcoming workshops. You are loved. You really are.


Music for Your Soul

One Touch by Nicole C. Mullen

Through and Through by Will Reagan/United Pursuit