Today’s post comes by way of a writing prompt I gave myself while my husband drove me and our two boys to a family gathering. I was in the midst of trying to write this post when I realized I needed to give up and give in to writing through the environment around me. God never fails to bring fresh revelation. All I need do is simply stop striving and press in to Him.
There is so much noise.
All around me noise from the car engine, noise from the radio, noise from the kids.
noise noise noise.
They just screamed, whistled and clapped. It’s too much. It feels like nails on a chalkboard, but the chalkboard is the insides of my brain. Why does it irritate me so? Why must the joy of parenting also include noise?
All I want is peace. All I want is quiet. No. Not quiet.
I don’t want quiet.
I don’t want to miss the sounds of the breeze catching the curtains in the window and blowing it up like a sail. I don’t want to miss giggles gone out of control. I don’t want to miss when I hear my husband say, “I’m proud of you.” I don’t want to miss when Blonde Boy recites scripture. I don’t want to miss First Boy say, “I love you, Mommy,” as he pokes his head in my doorway.
I don’t want quiet.
I just want peace.
But where is peace?
My mind takes me to a place when Blonde Boy sits on the floor with legs crossed and elbows hovering over his knees. His eyes are closed and his face is trying to keep from smiling. He is mimicking Kung Fu Panda and his quest to find inner peace.
I take a deeper breath. In my mind’s eye I see Blonde Boy press his pointer and thumb fingers together in the posture of meditation.
A posture to rest.
A posture to be still.
A posture to center on inner peace.
How does one attain inner peace? How does anyone get peace?
And what do I do as I mull this over? I sit here tapping my thoughts into a keyboard only to make more noise.
More noise. *sigh*
I think back to Blonde Boy again—he just might be on to something.
What if I were to posture myself—my heart—each day for rest of mind and soul? What if I intentionally stopped for stillness? What if I breathed deeply to open myself to peace?
But I get caught up in the noise. I make the noise. I add to the noise. And life—There. Is. So. Much. Noise.
And all I want is Him—the Prince of Peace.
Prince. Of. Peace.
If I am made in the image of God and Christ dwells within me…does that mean I have inner Peace?
Could it be that Peace dwells inside of me? Could it be it—no He—has been here all along. Even in the midst of the noise, and the ruckus of all that life brings. Could it be that Peace never leaves? Peace is never absent. But in fact Peace is always right…here.
Right here within me in the very center of my being—my soul.
Could it be?
I look out. I look in. I look all around for everything to be quiet only to realize Peace is already with me.
He. Is. My. Peace.
And perhaps I can’t be too annoyed over one to many views of Kung Fu Panda. After all, it was Panda who taught Blonde Boy the appropriate posture to stop and breathe—and taught me to reconnect to the one who is Peace.