The following blog is a letter I wrote to my husband last Father’s Day. Although the past year has brought it’s own set of challenges, everything I wrote then is still true today.
Remember when we were first married and we could sit for hours dreaming up how many kids we would have and what their names would be?
Nope. Me neither.
Gerhard, you’ve been the ultimate grace-giver in my life. You really have. You’ve walked me through (whether you liked it or not) my baggage, crap, insecurities, and well…a lot of junk.
We never had the kid talk because I didn’t/wouldn’t dream. Somewhere along my broken journey, I began to believe the lie I was not worthy to be a mother. Of course, I didn’t recognize this until I began my healing process. But when you first met me the only way I could beat the pain was to punch it in the face (or so I thought) and decide not to have kids. I began to believe another lie that I didn’t want to have anything to do with children…
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